


Castle of Glass

by jadesshadow01



Series: Shattered Dreams [1]
Category: Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter - Laurell K. Hamilton, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Child Abuse, M/M, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Out of Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-17
Updated: 2014-07-22
Packaged: 2018-01-09 00:37:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1139374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jadesshadow01/pseuds/jadesshadow01
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nathaniel Graison met a boy on the streets, one he didn't think would survive, but grew to be good friends with. Before the boy was yanked off the streets, and taken back to the home that he was from. Thirteen years later, the boy comes back with more secrets, and more problems. Can Anita accept this new addition and his place in Nathaniel's heart, or will this tear apart her carefully constructed world?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Starting Over

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, so I've been thinking this one over for a while. I made a couple changes. I'm not sure how the two stories would line up against each other, so I just worked with my head, and made them the same age. Nathaniel and Harry also had a little bit of a past change.... Alright, a little isn't the word, but it works. It fits with the story. Anita is a little more... angry, but I'll explain more as I go along. Just trust me. There is MENTIONS of child prostitution, and rape, nothing graphic. WARNING THOUGH! Anyways, here you go!

**Chapter One- Starting Over**

 

 _Well if we had the words in times like these_  
We wouldn't have to stare  
We'd both know what to say  
And how to pray the things to do to save the day  
Some will call it sacrifice  
They'll look at this and never see  
The beauty or how much it means  
The blood that runs inside of me 

_~Hunter Hayes~_

 

Harry walked down the streets of New Orleans, head hanging low as he approached the flashing lights of his destination. A light wind floated past, the nervous indecision whispering against his thin white lips as he approached the door. The guard eyed him with muted curiosity, and an eyebrow raise that asked more questions than could be voiced in one moment.

“I'm here to see Jean-Claude about a job offer,” he muttered, the knowledge that the wolf would be able to hear him sending sharp pains through his heart, through his mind as he once again reinforced the shields that would allow him to forget. He just wanted to forget....

The war had ended, Voldemort was dead, and had fallen at the hands of the young man that was now wearing ragged clothes, a deep forbidden frown, bags under his eyes, and an almost anorexic frame that was barely concealed by the amount of muscle he had been building. So many had died, leaving the repairs to the ones who were left, barely holding themselves together.

Harry had survived the war, physically. His mental state died with Ginny, Remus, Snape, Fred, and Dobby. Andromeda Tonks took his godson at the loss of her own daughter. Ron and Hermione abandoned him like Ginny. Unable to cope with what had happened, he fled. He fled to a place where for a little bit, it felt like home. Somewhere he was in peace, though it was only for a couple of months, just enough time for the Dursley's to feel guilty for abandoning a ten year old boy on the streets of New Orleans. He didn't want to go back to them when they came, but he didn't have a choice.

But he was here now. Poor, tired, dirty, and worn, but he was here. Standing in front of the predatory man that stared at him as if he couldn't decide if the man in front of him was dirt on his shoes, or someone that really needed to be pitied. Harry didn't want the pity, he just wanted to get in to the damn building so he could get the job he so desperately needed.

“Name?” The man growled out, as Harry gave him a weary look.

“Harry Potter,” he stated, the knowledge that American's weren't as in to the war as the English, and didn't have the knowledge of the name that still echoed across the sea.

“Come with me,” He stated gruffly, walking in the nearly empty building, glancing over at the strippers that called out to him with greetings. Each were in various states of getting ready, wandering room to room to find some prop or object needed to put on the performance needed that night.

Harry watched as they passed, eyes glancing over at him before going back to whatever project or thing that they were working on. Harry let his eyes wander back as he was pulled towards the hall, down the hall and in front of the door that would lead him to his new life. A life that he had thought he would never have to resort to. A life he was not prepared for. With a sigh, he watched as the door swung open.

 

~HPNG~

 

Nathaniel's eyes focused on Anita's stiff frame, leaning against the desk that Jean-Claude sat in front of. The purse on her lips told of the frustration that she had echoing through her. After a night with a case that wouldn't seem to end, and having to feed the arduer from Micah before heading back out to drop him off at his job, she was at her wits end. He could see it in her stance, the way her back stayed to Jean-Claude's unyielding form.

“Look, Jean-Claude, I need information on this vampire. He's taken out several people in the last couple of hours alone,” she snarled, turning back to the vampire in question as Nathaniel leaned back comfortably against the sofa in the office. It was only seven, and he didn't have to be on for at least another two hours. His make-up was ready for him, but he wasn't going to leave the angry woman in front of him alone with the person she loved. She was at her wits end, and would probably end up shooting him. He snorted at the thought, before shaking his head.

“Ma Petite, there is nothing I can give you-” Jean-Claude started to argue, as a soft knock on the door interrupted the conversation. Both set of frustrated eyes glanced over at the door, where the sound originated, before looking at each other.

“It's my new stripper. With one of my men out on leave, I had to get someone to fill his place for a little bit,” Jean-Claude stated smoothly, no hint of what they were arguing about still in his voice. A tense hand lightly clenched the paper in front of him, while Anita nodded, “Come in.”

The door pushed in, Buzz's head peaking in before walking in slowly, “The new boy is here for duty.” Jean-Claude nodded, waving impatiently.

Nathaniel turned his head as the boy walked in, his back hunched, but not unaware. He wore dirty clothing, his shoulder length hair stayed in no single place, but everywhere. He was skinny, but not skin and bones. He was taller than Nathaniel, but most people were, though you couldn't tell from the way he carried himself.

Nathaniel watched as he walked in, looking at Jean-Claude, before his eyes drifted to Anita, and then the eyes hit him. A brilliant forest green, brimming with anger, pain, and a need to be wanted. The same color eyes that had haunted Nathaniel's nightmares. A past that Nathaniel tried to escape, but was drawn back to. But that boy had been taken away. He had been deported back to his original country, and left Nathaniel to defend himself. There was no way that little boy could have survived the torture of his family, could have survived to live to be the age that this boy currently was without the aid that was sure to never come. The boys eyes widened, as he took in Nathaniel, a recognition sparked in them, the leopard in Nathaniel peaking at this notice. There was no way....

“Harry?”

~HPNG~

 

Harry felt himself stiffen as he stared at the beautiful man in front of him. Had it been thirteen years since he lived on the streets of America? Did he survive against the odds? Flashes whipped through his minds eye as he never stopped looking, never hearing the whisper of his name against those lips.

**Flash**

 

_“It'll be alright, Harry,” the little boy stated, holding a crying Harry, “I'll be here for you.” Harry nodded his head, grasping the boy closer._

 

**Flash**

 

_A soft hand stroked down his back, resting gently against the beginning of his bottom. Harry rested his head against the taller chest, wondering if her would ever go to be that height._

_“Harry, you don't have to do this,” He mumbled under his breath to Harry as Harry shook his head._

_“You've got to get out of this house, Nathaniel. I'll get you out of here. I promise. You trust me, and I'll save you. You're my everything.” The silent sobs of the boy next to him brought tears to his eyes. It had to be done._

 

**Flash**

 

_Harry laid on the bed, eyes closed, pain radiating down his spine. It wasn't the first time, and it wouldn't be the last. He just didn't want Nathaniel walking in on him like this again. He would try to take Harry off his course of action. He had to save Nathaniel._

_He would have never thought that prostitution made so much money, but when you look like you're over the age of 18, made yourself look that way, you got away with a lot of things. He had managed to make over $800 this month alone. Not enough to get a home, but enough to bribe someone to let him stay in a hotel room until he healed._

_Tears streamed down his face as he attempted to stand, thinking of the several things he was going to have to tell Nathaniel that night._

 

**Flash**

 

_“HARRY!” Nathaniel screamed as their arms were ripped apart, driven apart by the force of the police officers._

 

“Harry?” The man said a little louder, as Harry focused back on the man in front of him. It had been years ago. Just before Harry found out that he was going to be attending Hogwarts that he was sent back. He never heard from Nathaniel, had attempted to live with the peace that he was doing better than Harry was. Reality was a little too harsh for his taste, and he wanted to live with the knowledge that the man that he had grown to be was not the bitter man that Harry had become.

“Nathaniel?” Harry whispered, as the man startled, walking over to look at him.

“You're alive!” Nathaniel went to wrap his arms around Harry, only to have Harry jerk away, looking somewhere other than what was in front of him. He was right, the man had matured, become incredibly beautiful, not as the post war Harry had become. The hurt that fluttered across his face slashed a part of Harry's heart, but he wasn't the man that he was supposed to be. He was a murderer, a killer, blood always on his hand...

“So you know our new stripper?” the boss said casually, sitting back in his chair, as the woman on the desk leaned closer.

“I knew him in the past,” Nathaniel said, with a cocked head, and narrowed eyes.

“Are you a shifter?” the boss asked automatically, his eyes not on Harry, but on Nathaniel. Harry opened his mouth to speak-

“No, he's not,” the woman snapped out, her eyes focused on him. Harry would call it a glare, but it wasn't a glare. It was more critical, more fierce than that. It was protective.

“I'm a wizard,” Harry blurted out, before closing his eyes. How stupid was he for telling people that? Not many knew of wizards, and here in America, it was more wiccans, those with little to no power that used elements to work.

“A wiccan?” The woman asked, as Harry shook his head.

“In Europe, there are actual wizards, Ma Petite,” Jean-Claude stated, “People with magic so strong that they need a focus, they are the epitome of power. Though, I wonder, why one with such power would be here other than to take over?”

Harry shook his head. He knew this was a bad idea. He knew coming back was a horrible idea, but he felt he was needed here. He felt drawn here. It might have been the fact that while it was a horrible part of his life, he was happy. He had some of his best memories here. It was a mistake. Nothing was going to take the pain away.

“I'm sorry,” his heavy British accent slipping out, “I should be going. I don't know what I was thinking coming here.” Harry turned to walk out, only to be blocked by the very man that he didn't want to face.

“No, I can vouch for Harry. He wouldn't be here unless he absolutely had to be,” Nathaniel stated staring in to his eyes, piercing eyes that searched his soul for answers.

“It's not that he had to be here. It's why he had to be here, Nathaniel,” the woman snapped out from behind Harry. Harry shook his head. It was a mistake. This is a mistake.

“He's not that kind of person, Anita,” Nathaniel stated, his voice calm, that same voice that he used to use when he didn't want to talk about it.

“He might not be the person that you knew,” Anita, the woman, pointed out.

“Look,” Harry turned to face the people that were behind him, “I'm just looking for a bloody job. Something to get some money flowing until I can survive and find a better job. I don't want trouble; don't want a fight. I just want a job. Is that so bloody difficult to understand?”

The boss tilted his head, looking at Anita before glancing back at Harry.

“Welcome to Guilty Pleasure's, Harry. Don't make me regret it,” the boss stated, as Anita fumed in front of him, “You'll start tomorrow.”

Harry nodded, turning back to Nathaniel, who still blocked the door. Walking around him, Harry walked out, out the club, out to the corner, where he stood for a minute. Now was the problem of finding a corner to sleep tonight.

 

~HPNG~

 

Nathaniel watched as Harry left, eyes focused on the man that the boy had become. This was not the boy who tried to save him, not the boy who put his life on the line to get him out of a dangerous household, even at the risk of his own life. He was a man. A man that should have never been.

“What are you thinking, Jean-Claude?” Anita snapped, “How do we know he's not dangerous, or going to hurt anyone?”

“He can't hurt anyone, Anita. He's broken,” Nathaniel stated, eyes still on the door. The normally soothing comfort that was Anita was not able to penetrate the absolute pain that echoed.

“And what was that, Nathaniel? You never know how someone could have grown to be! He's not safe!” Nathaniel looked over at Anita, a rare anger glaring behind those eyes.

“Nothing could have changed that personality. They can break it, but they can't change it!” Anita glared back, unused to Nathaniel talking back to her.

“Breaking is changing. It's probably the most dangerous change of all. It means that they changed him in such a way that he can't be fixed. He's not worth it, and I won't have you at risk because you want to try to fix him!” Anita snarled. Nathaniel narrowed his eyes, his leopard at the surface, a reaction that almost never happened.

“The way you tried to fix me?” Anita recoiled back, before looking at Jean-Claude for support. Nothing was said, no looks exchanged. Nathaniel nodded before standing.

“I've got a set to prepare for,” walking out the room, Nathaniel left them with their dark thoughts and an anger Anita was unable to diminish. He left with thoughts of the lonely British man that walked out the door.


	2. Who I Used To Be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, Next Chapter Up. A little bit more... complicated than the first, but all questions will be answered soon. Some of them in this chapter, not all. Thank you for the reviews!

**Chapter Two- Who I Used To Be**

 

 _So just give it one more try to a lullaby_  
And turn this up on the radio  
If you can hear me now  
I'm reaching out  
To let you know that you're not alone  
And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell  
'Cause I can't get you on the telephone  
So just close your eyes  
Oh, honey here comes a lullaby  
Your very own lullaby 

_~Nickelback~_

 

Harry walked slowly in to Guilty Pleasure with a slow sore gait. It had been a long night, filled with park benches, crazy animals, and nightmares that continued to plague him no matter the time. It was his first night, and he already had glamours on. Something to cover the horrible image that was actually his body for a little while.

Buzz nodded to him as he began to walk towards the back, where his boss, Jean-Claude was waiting to introduce him. Jean-Claude was beautiful. There was no denying it. Harry could see why he was able to gain so much business if he was also part of the shows. Not to mention the beauty that was his strip team, and that beautiful man that was part of his past. Jean-Claude eyed him over, taking in the worn clothes, and the light dirt that laid over his skin. Living on the streets prevented him from being able to be bathe regularly, and last night had been one of those night. Thankfully, if he had to perform before he could shower, a glamour could take away the dirty look. Just another cover to get some money to survive, in Harry's opinion, it was what had to be done.

“Well, mon petit feu, welcome back,” Jean-Claude started, eyes roaming over the lack of sleep line that should have been under his eyes, but were not there, “We will get you a shower after you meet everyone, and get you a basic routine that you can do tonight.”

Harry nodded, not really focusing on what he was saying, but the environment around him. It didn't hold that anxiety that most strip clubs had, or at least the ones that he had applied to. It was... comforting, but even that wasn't the word for it. Welcoming? Maybe that was the word Harry grappled for as Jean-Claude lead him to the back. There were several men, of different sizes, different levels of welcome, and different attitudes. Harry followed Jean-Claude as he led him up to a man with blonde hair that floated to his shoulders; piercing blue eyes that looked like they could light up to the color of the sky, but was looking over him critically even with the height difference. He was beautiful, not overtly muscular, but toned in his own right, or at least, better than Harry was.

“Jason, this is Harry,” Jean-Claude stated, turning to be in the middle of the two men. While Harry had the height on Jason, he could tell from the tension floating just underneath the surface that he was a werewolf. It was the same kind of tension that Remus used to have... Harry shook his head, attempting to avoid where that train of thought was headed.

“Welcome to Guilty Pleasure, Harry,” Jason said coolly, extending his hand out, even as Harry gave a weary glance at it. Harry took it slowly, masking his discomfort, allowing the normal facade that he had developed over the years to fall in to place.

“Thank you, Jason,” Harry stated, as he let go of the hand, and crossed them against his chest.

“I think that you would do well to get him acquainted, Jason. Make sure you let him know the rules of the establishment, and get him ready for the performance tonight.” Jean-Claude turned and walked away without acknowledging any movement from either man.

Jason looked over at Harry once again, sighing at his state before tilting his head.

“Well, I guess, we need to get started,” Jason stated, as he walked even further back.

Harry followed with no complaints, but loads of questions. None that could be answered by the man in front of him.

 

~HPNG~

 

Nathanial pulled the cookies out the oven, a frown on his face as he looked across the counter. With over a hundred cookies baked, and more worried on his mind, he just shook his head and sat at the table. Ten Years. It had been ten years since he had seen Harry's lithe form swooping in to save him from some predicament or another. If they had been older, more experienced, Nathaniel would say that he loved Harry in more than a best friend sort of way. Hell, now that he was looking back on it, it was evident that there was more than just friendship and desperation that drove them to each others arms. But he was so different now, more worn down, more broken than he had been when they were forced apart.

Nathaniel could see it perfectly in his mind's eye. Harry's bent, broken body. The smell of streets, death and the whispers of despair. There was no other way to put it. Nathaniel was seeing the broken man that he would become, and allowed the wonder of what would have happened if Harry had stayed. Would he be like that today?

Soft footsteps came down the stairs, Anita's wild hair pulled in to a ponytail as she bounded in to the kitchen. With soft murmurs of greetings, she grabbed her travel mug, filled it with coffee, allowed Nathaniel to give her a light kiss, and headed towards the door. She was saying something, but he couldn't focus on what was said.

“- and Micah's going to take you to work, because of the break in the case,” He heard her tell him, nodding in acknowledgment of what was said, “Be careful at work today. We don't need that man doing anything to you.”

Nathaniel watched as Anita bounded out the door, rebuke on his lips, but not escaping. He had a feeling it was going to be a long day, with no relief in sight.

 

~HPNG~

 

Harry stood in the shower, allowing the hot water to flow over his body. It had been so long since he had a hot shower, so long that he couldn't remember the last. Was it at the Weasley's? Just before the funeral? Or was it the day that he was asked to leave, losing the only family that he had ever known? It was lost in the past, jumbled in a mess that had not been fixed in so long that he felt tangled in a web.

“Harry, Are you ready for practice?” Jason called through the door, as Harry finally turned the water off. He shook his head, while calling affirmative through the door. He wasn't sure he was ready for anything anymore.

 

~HPNG~

 

Nathaniel sat in the car with a quiet Micah, reminiscing through the view out the window. It was getting close to dark, almost time for work, and getting closer to when he would see Harry again. It was tearing his nerves to pieces.

“Anita said that you met someone in your past?” Micah stated, eyes on the road, but the quirk in his ears told Nathaniel that he was paying close attention.

“Yeah, Harry,” Nathaniel muttered under his breath.

“Tell me about him,” Micah said softly, understanding that this was obviously a touchy subject.

“Why? So you can tell me that he's not the person I thought he was? Because obviously anyone from my past is a huge mistake and needs to reminded to me on a constant basis?” Nathaniel snapped, attempting to get his calm together, but not successfully. Micah glanced over at Nathaniel through his sunglasses, and he could feel the weight of the gaze.

“Who is he?” He asked simply, but the order showing through.

“He's a boy that I might when I was being abused, okay?” Nathaniel sighed, “His family had abandoned him in the states. He was the only one who cared, and spent so long trying to save me. About a year of doing nothing, but trying to save me, before he was taken away.”

“What happened after that?”

“I have no idea. He went back to his uncle's house, and we never talked again. I thought he died. His uncle was.... horrible,” Nathaniel went back to gazing out the window.

“And what about now? Anita's a bit biased when it comes to you, so I'm never sure if what she's saying is truth, or exaggerated.” Nathaniel shook his head.

“He's not the boy I knew. He's broken. He so broken,” Nathaniel mumbled, but Micah heard him.

“A broken man is more dangerous than a well man,” Micah stated with absolute certainty.

“Then does that make me dangerous, too?” Nathaniel stated, as Micah glanced over at him.

“He's different, Nathaniel. You're not broken, just bent a little. If what you say is true, then Anita has a right to be worried.” Nathaniel looked over at the beautiful man in the seat next to him.

“He's more dangerous to himself than other,” Nathaniel stated, as Micah frowned, “Somethings never change. If he was always worried about other before himself, then it stays the same. What care would he give if he has nothing to fight for?”

“And you plan on giving him that?”

“It's the least I can do after all he's done for me. After all, I'm apart of the reason he's broken.”

“How can you says that, Nathaniel?” Nathaniel glanced out the window.

“Because my father was the one who called the police.”

 

~HPNG~

 

Harry watched as each stripper went out on the floor, so beautiful in their movements, their own personal dance. He had managed to avoid Nathaniel this whole time, hiding in the corners, putting up notice-me-not spells in an attempt to prevent him from paying attention to him. It wasn't that he didn't want to see the man, and he had grown up in to a man, but that he didn't want to face the past that he knew Nathaniel was going to try to bring up.

“And now, presenting BRANDON!”

Harry watched from backstage as Nathaniel walked out, a confident walk that slowly maneuvered into a slow dance. Clothes came off, body agile, sliding, dancing, so cat like more than human. Harry knew at some point he would become that cat that he showed, would allow that moment that was coming.

Nathaniel changed in to such a beautiful animal. More beautiful than Harry had words for, such an amazing animal. Women loved it, money flowing out their pockets to the lack of clothing that Nathaniel wore. Harry watched as the show began to end, and his was getting ready to start.

Walking from the shadows, he caught Nathaniel's gaze, a smile gracing the man's lips. Harry nodded to him, hearing his call as he walked on stage.

 

~HPNG~

 

Harry was onstage. Merlin was taking over the stage, and Nathaniel couldn't pull his eyes from the rippling body that was overwhelming the stage. Jason had taught him well, giving him room to showcase the magic of his body, along with the magic that no one knew was occuring on the stage. The sparkles that looked so real, but were just an illusion of the mind. The feel of the moment without focusing on details that Harry didn't want. It was magic, and it overcame even the most critical of people there. Money came from pockets quickly and eagerly. Hell, Nathaniel had considered tossing a couple of dollars up there for the man that was on the stage.

“He's beautiful, isn't he?” Jason asked, watching from beside Nathaniel. Nathaniel nodded, eyes riveted to the man whose pants just came off.

“Nathaniel,” Jason stated, an odd sound to his voice that he couldn't place, “I know what happened with Anita. The argument that occurred.”

“What about it?” Nathaniel said smoothly, watching the other man out of the corner of his eye.

“Don't tell Anita that I said this, but-” Jason looked at Nathaniel, “sometimes you have to fight for what you want. And somethings aren't meant to be in the past.” Nathaniel looked over at the man by his side. “Don't let her dictate what you do for him. It might be what makes or breaks him.”

Harry slid down the ladies body, money slipping in to his skin tight underwear, a slight smile resting on his face. Nathaniel could see the false look on his face, and while it's a very good facade, it had it's cracks. You just had to look for it.

“Maybe Anita's right, and I'm just looking for something in nothing,” Nathaniel said as Harry began to come off the stage.

“She's wrong. There's nothing wrong with you're instinct. Trust it.” Jason turned and walked towards Harry with a smile on his face.

 

~HPNG~

 

Harry and Jason came to the office where Jean-Claude and Nathaniel sat in the office. Nathaniel sat on the sofa, counting the dollars that he had gathered during the night. Jason sat Harry down and started to help him get the money out of places that he didn't know existed.

“I know you're looking for a place to live,” Nathaniel stated, as Harry sat back on the sofa with a grimace and a sigh.

“What does that have to do with anything?” Harry asked on a sigh, watching the man in front of him, as he glanced over to see lilac eyes focused on him.

“You can stay with me,” Nathaniel watched as Harry's eyes glazed over, the past seeming to take over.

“I- I can't Nathaniel,” Harry whispers, as he quickly glances over at Jean-Claude for support, “I'll be able to find a place to stay with what I earned tonight.”

Jean-Claude seemed uninterested in the conversation, but the way he tensed when Nathaniel mentioned staying told Harry that he was paying attention and that he needed to tread carefully.

“ I think it's a great idea, Harry, and it's rare that Nathaniel lets anyone stay,” Jason said, the almost conversational tone taking over the undercurrent of Jason trying to tell Jean-Claude something. It wasn't obvious to the naked ear, but Harry had just come out of a long war. He knew what he was looking for.

“Ma Petite would not be happy,” Jean-Claude states so suddenly that Harry jumped. Jason looked at Jean-Claude with a critical eye.

“When is Anita happy about something? Besides, I think Nathaniel deserves to have friends of his own,” Jason said smoothly, as Harry began to watch the fight. There was more being said than what was actually coming out of their mouth, but he had not background to put it with. What was going on?

“I don't think-” Harry started, but Nathaniel's sharp look stopped him.

“For as much as Anita claims that it is my home too, I don't think that she would mind if I brought a friend over to stay. Especially a friend that needed somewhere to stay,” Nathaniel said, winking at Harry before facing him fully, “What do you say, Harry? It could be like old times. Besides, my therapist says it good for me to talk to someone from my past, to face my past, and to com to terms with it. I think it would be a welcome experience.”

Harry watched as Nathaniel played the adult games that he knew he was able to play, but never chose to. The shock played across Jean-Claude's face as he watched them interact, Harry thinking over the proposal, Nathaniel taking control of the situation. It was evident that this was something that the two men in the room with them had never seen before. Nathaniel may have been a submissive, something that he gained understanding from when he was out on the streets, but he had evidently gained the ability to stand for himself. He would not let anyone else bully him.

“Alright, Nathaniel. I'll stay one night. We can discuss the past, and anything else that NEEDS to be discussed, then I leave the next day. There will be no arguments on it. Alright?” Harry sighed, hunching over in defeat, overwhelmed, and exhausted, compared to the grinning man near him.

“I still do not think this is a good idea,” Jean-Claude stated from the other side of the room. Nathaniel shrugged.

“Anita needs to figure things out. I want to settle my past.”

“Ah, but--”

“I know Anita will be mad, Jean-Claude. I know this. She will get over it,” Nathaniel snapped, “ She needs to understand that not everyone is out to get someone. She needs to stop thinking of me as some fool that can't make a decision on my own. Yes, I like someone controlling parts of my life, but that does not make me incapable of making decisions on my own.”

“Well, Nathaniel, you're past is not very good and proving otherwise,” Jean-Claude stated, a matter of fact point that drove Nathaniel to the edge of his seat, and Harry to his feet.

“You know nothing,” Nathaniel snarled, as Jason laid a hand on his shoulder.

“I know enough,” Jean-Claude hissed, “You're decision to allow Raina to use you, to abuse you because you liked it, especially after living out on the streets. I know enough.” Nathaniel turned his head away, as Harry surged foreward.

“You had no right to say what you said!” Harry snarled, as lilac eyes focused on green fury.

“And what do you know about it mon petit feu? Did you know that he lived out on the streets? That he sold his body? That he turned in to a were-leopard and sold himself to the highest bidder so that he could enjoy the pain that came with it? Maybe you were the one who sent him off, slutted him off for your gain.” Harry glared, but the magic in the room rose, items on Jean-Claude's desk shaking slightly.

“Is that supposed to scare me off, Jean-Claude? Or maybe you're making false accusations on my character so that you can feel better when that woman comes back and says that you were wrong?” Harry looked over at Nathaniel's gaping mouth, “No, I wasn't there when he changed, or when he was, as you put it, 'slutting himself out'. No, I was the person there when the abuse got so bad that he had broken bones. I was the person that put him back together when everything fell apart. I am the person who was willing to sell his own body to make sure he didn't stay in that hell hole any longer than he had to. Bent over backwards, bled on him a couple times, and still held his hand through the nightmares. So, what do I know about it? I know that you're striking out in fear, it's at the tip of your unblocked mind. I know that this man would die for you if you asked, and you still abuse that trust in him by not trusting me. I also know that your level in trust in him is despairingly low. Sad really, especially for a man that has nothing to fear from this man in front of him. A man who loves you just as much as the others. Get over yourself. One of these days, he won't be here, and what do you have to show for it? An inexcusable fear and a broken heart.”

Harry stomped out the room, as everything stilled, and Jean-Claude snapped his eyes back to his two employees.

“Well, that was an interesting development,” Jason said slowly, as Nathaniel stood and walked to the door.

“I've got to go find Harry.” Walking out the door with a slight snick, Jason turned to the only vampire in the room.

“That was interesting.” Jean-Claude nodded, as he sighed.

“Anita's not going to like this,” Jean-Claude rested his head in his hands.

“Anita doesn't like a lot of things. This is just another one.”

“No, Jason, this is not. This is her Nathaniel, and the one person who just might take him from her.”


	3. One More Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo it's short. I apologize now. It's been a hectic week for me, and I just haven't been able to write. It's also a little bit of a filler chapter, but it has some important things to it that will play out. Thank you guys sooo much for the response, I'm excited to see how this turns out, and I hope that everyone enjoys it. Next chapter will be a lot longer and a lot of questions will be answered.

**Chapter Three- One More Night**

 

 _Maybe you don’t understand_  
I don’t understand it all myself  
But there’s a brother on my left and another on my right  
And in his pocket just like mine  
He’s got a photograph  
And they’re waiting for him back home  
It’s weighing on my mind  
I’m not trying to be a hero  
I don’t wanna die  
But right now in this moment, you don’t think twice

~ _Keith Urban~_

 

Harry found Nathaniel outside, sitting, contemplating. He stared at the dirt alley, ignoring Buzz not too far away helping the last of the drunk women out of the club. Harry stared at him a minute before walking over to sit next to him. Knees propped up, arms wrapped around them, eyes ahead, he ignored the feeling of Nathaniel's eyes on him.

“You know, it's true,” Nathaniel stated silently, watching Harry's face for a reaction, but not getting one, “I slutted myself out for what I thought was a better life. I thought I couldn't get any better than what I had at that moment.” Harry stayed silent staring ahead. “Maybe I shouldn't be allowed to-”

“Don't finish that sentence,” Harry stated lowly, but more menacing than Nathaniel had ever heard. Nathaniel looked at Harry's tense face, taking in the grinding jaw, broken eyes, and slouched body. Tears began to fill his eyes, as he shifted close enough to lean on Harry. Harry glanced over to see the hurting man beside him, and lightly kissed his head like he used to it. It was like breathing to him, going back to those times.

“Micah's on his way to get us,” Nathaniel stated, pleased by the pressure that had came and gone on his head.

“Does he know I'm with you?” Nathaniel shifted where he sat, a slight smirk on his face.

“No,” Nathaniel felt more than saw Harry's exasperated look.

“Always causing trouble,” Harry grumbled, but didn't move. Nathaniel felt safe, comforted, something that he couldn't even get in the arms Anita. Harry held a welcoming presence that he had missed so much. An understanding that most could not imitate. What caused him to hurt so bad? Who caused his Harry so much pain?

“What happened to you Harry?” Nathaniel mumbled under his breath. Harry turned his head to see the blonde hair leaning on his shoulder.

“A war. I fought a war.” Nathaniel just looked at him, knowing that silence was the best thing after this statement. Harry would tell all at some time tonight. It was only a matter of time.

 

~HPNG~

 

Anita felt like pulling her hair out of her head. This case was just getting more and more complicated by the minute! In the beginning there was at least some evidence to say what happened to the victims. They had defense wounds, some slashing, and evidence that looked like the person's heart gave out in fear.

The last two victims just died. No explanations. No warning. Nothing. Just a body with no witnesses in the middle of crowded areas. Suspicious was the word of the week, and it was surrounding this case. She stared at the man lying on the ground, eyes open in fear.

“Alright, is there ANYTHING else that can help us?” Anita snapped out at the officers that swarmed the scene. Dolph stopped about a mile from the scene and looked down.

“This is a really polished looking stick,” he stated, staring at the object in question. Anita glanced up and walked over.

She stared a second, allowing the recognition to take over her mind, “That's not a stick. It's a wand.”

 

~HPNG~

 

Nathaniel climbed in to the car, Harry standing outside the car with a look on his face. Nathaniel smiled, as Harry shook his head.

“Micah, Harry's going to stay with us tonight,” Nathaniel stated briskly, looking at him with a smile. Micah's eyebrows went up, as Nathaniel made a pouty face. He could see the worry roll across Micah's face, as the man glanced at the shadow behind him. There was a lot that Nathaniel could get away with, and it seemed that Nathaniel was hitting his limit with Harry.

“Look, I'll even give Anita a call if it makes you feel better,” Nathaniel compromised, as Micah glanced back at Harry.

“No, She's on a case. Go ahead and let him in the car,” Micah turned back to the wheel, staring ahead with a blank look on his face. Nathaniel smiled, as Harry slowly opened the back door, pausing before getting in.

“Look, I don't want to cause any problems. I can find somewhere else, and talk to Nathaniel tomorrow,” Harry looked over nervously at Micah, piercing eyes focused on him.

“No, it's no problem. I'm glad to see Nathaniel has a friend that's not apart of the group,” Micah smiled, but it never met his eyes. Harry nodded, ignoring the twitch that was occurring in the abnormally calm man in the front seat, as Nathaniel bounced in his seat.

Nathaniel let the silence wash over them, ignoring the tension between Micah and Harry, staring out the window at the calm night sky. Micah was easy. He knew Micah was easy. Not that he was easily manipulated, no that wasn't possible, but he was willing to welcome new people. Damian stayed away unless he absolutely had to, and Jason was staying with Jean-Claude tonight. The only person he had to convince that he could take care of himself was Anita.

And after having to kill the Rex of her group of were-lions because he tried to kill Nathaniel Anita has been a lot more protective. Even attempting to cross the barrier in to over protective, Nathaniel took it like always because he was a submissive. He understood that. He knew that he liked to be taken care of, to know he didn't make big decisions, and that there were others there to do it for him. But this was different.

Harry needed him. Nathaniel could feel it in his bones. The normally strong boy, the boy who could be the dominant to Nathaniel's submissive, was that dominant, had broken. That scared Nathaniel worse than if Harry had died on the streets.

They pulled in to the driveway, and walked in to the house, all drawn in to their own thoughts. Nathaniel grabbed Harry's hand lightly, tugging him into the kitchen, where cookies surrounded the room. Harry blinked, Nathaniel laughing at the wide eyes. Pulling out a plate from the cabinet, Nathaniel sat two on the table, putting three cookies on each plate before tugging Harry over to sit. Making sure that Harry was sitting, Nathaniel walked over to the fridge, pulling out the milk, two glasses, and pouring a cup each.

Harry watched with lazy interest, the small smile Nathaniel wore bringing a sense of peace that Harry hadn't found in a long time. Sitting the cup in front of him, Nathaniel sat catty corner to him, smiling as Harry picked up a cookie and took a bite.

“Holy shit, this is good,” Harry groaned out, taking another bite of the moist cookie that seemed to melt in to several flavors. Nathaniel snorted as he took a sip of milk before taking a bite of the cookie.

“So, I'm guessing you want to know what happened?” Harry stated, glancing at the man next to him. Nathaniel smiled, as he nodded. Harry nodded slowly.

“I went back to the Dursley, and fought a war. There was so much death....”


	4. When the past haunts you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so I altered some wording in Chapter one to reflect what happens in this chapter. It's minute, but important. Second, two chapters in one day will probably never happen again, but the scene wouldn't get out of my head, so I wrote it. Enjoy it's a nice little chapter, and explains a lot.

**Chapter 4 – When The Past Haunts You**

 

 _On broken wings I'm falling_  
And it won't be long  
The skin on me is burning  
By the fires of the sun  
On skinned knees  
I'm bleeding  
And it won't be long  
I've got to find that meaning  
I'll search for so long

_~Alter Bridge~_

 

“There were so many deaths...” Harry gazed in to the cup of milk, Nathaniel staring at him with a blank look.

“I went back to the Dursley's, and everything just got worse...”

**Flash**

 

_Harry sat in the police room. The sounds of people busy around him helping him tune out the conversation that was occurring with his 'family'. He was stuck. He was stuck here again, and there was nothing he could do. He was bound to go back to England, deported back to England with his family._

_Uncle Vernon came in to the room with a sadistic smile on his face, one that was taken by the police to be a relieved smile. To them, Harry was another run away, just another troubled adolescence that needed to be reigned in before he was stuck on the streets,a bum, an addict, and a problem to the community that didn't even belong to the country._

_“Don't worry, Officer. We'll take him home,” Vernon stated, grasping Harry's shoulder, too hard, too long, and with lots of anger._

_They had to take him home._

 

**Flash**

 

_Harry sat on the cot in his cupboard. The broken arm that hung at his side was finally starting to heal a little. It had taken Harry over a week to put his arm back in to place, the pain so excruciating that he passed out every time he started to._

_“BOY! Get out here and do your chores!” Harry clambered out of the room and began to clean the house. A house he didn't belong to._

_His mind wandered back to the streets, and to that blond haired boy that he had left behind. He never saw the smack to the head. Blinded by the swipe, the next hit took out his knees. He tumbled down, never seeing his uncle beating him to oblivion._

 

Harry stared at Nathaniel's blank face. He let the hand that wandered in to his own clasp it lightly, attempting not to let the past overwhelm him as the words fell from his lips.

“I first found out I was a wizard by a giant that knocked in a door on an island after running from letters that were trying to be delivered to me. I was so happy, I was leaving the Dursley's for good, and there was nothing that could stop me.” Harry took a deep breath.

“I started at Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft and Wizardry at the age of Eleven. My first year there I fought a troll, dealt with crazy teachers, and killed someone, preventing the person that killed my parent's from coming back to life.” Nathaniel's eyes widened.

“Oh, Crap, I'm not explaining this well, am I?” Harry laughed, a broken hurting laugh,” my parent's were never drunks, they never abandoned me. They were murdered by a psycho. See, the wizarding world was at war with a man named Voldemort. He wanted to kill the wizards who were born by parent's who weren't witches or wizards. Exterminate them. My parent's were part of a resistance to try to stop him.”

Harry stopped, eyeing Nathaniel as he nodded slowly, “ There was a prophecy, a foretelling, that I would defeat this man, so he tried to kill me as a baby. It didn't work. He killed everyone but me, left me with god forsaken scar on my head.  
“Anyway, he tried to come back to life in my first year, second year, and actually came back to life in my fourth year of schooling. Between those years, I was sent back to the Dursleys, back to the abuse. I lost my godfather in my fifth year, and the headmaster who was helping me died in my sixth year,” Harry's deadened eyes looking at Nathaniel's empathetic ones.

“My seventh year, or what was supposed to be my seventh year...”

 

**Flash**

 

_Harry walked with Hermione down the empty streets of Diagon Alley. Ever since the Headmaster died, it was quiet, almost as if they had given up on the war, giving over to Voldemort. Harry kept his head down, watching as the stones beneath his feet moved, welcomed the minute changes that came with every step. Ron was at the Burrow, having got his school supplies earlier in the months, making sure to split up when they went out. Never have them together in case one was captured._

_On their way home, Hermione screamed. Harry looked up, catching as she went down, the robed death eater holding the wand steady as she hit the ground, pale, cold. Harry had no time to think, to see his dead friend. He pulled his wand, shooting spell after spell, being backed in to a shop, not paying attention to what shop, just a place to hide._

_He battled, duck, dodged,and swerved. He didn't linger on the fact that he had convinced the order to let him go alone. He didn't allow the fact that he was going to have to tell Ron that his girlfriend, the woman he loved was dead because Harry wasn't paying attention. He never knew that the battle that seemed to last hours, really only lasted a couple minutes before the tracker that the Order had put on Harry alerted them to danger._

_Even as the battle ended. Even as Harry stood in the middle of the street, panting, heaving breaths that just didn't seem to come. Harry didn't think. A tool wasn't supposed to think._

 

**Flash**

 

_Harry walked in to the common room, heaving a sigh as the people around him kept their usual activity. He hadn't seen Ron all day, after he had told him that he had come down with a cold. Harry walked up to the dorms, tossing his bag on the bed, before turning to the bed that Ron slept in._

_Guilt stabbed him, speared him, sliced him open and left him disemboweled for everyone to see. He had killed Hermione, and now Ron was paying the price. He had watched his best friend lose weight, lose sleep, lose connection to the world that he had revered._

_Sighing, Harry walked over and opened the curtain to find an abnormally still Ron. Patting Ron's shoulder, the cold seeped through Harry's hand, as Panic slithered through his mind. Grabbing Ron by the shoulder's Harry began shaking his best friend, each jerk getting more and more desperate._

_Harry never noticed the Professor's pulling him off of Ron. He never heard the declaration of death. He never saw the note passed around. He just curled around himself. There was nothing._

 

**Flash**

_Harry ran through the battle field, ignoring the wash of pain that came with every green light that fluttered. He searched. He searched so hard for the man that he was to kill, and with every fallen soldier, Harry pushed harder._

_Remus. Another step._

_Kingsley. Another step._

_Snape. Another Step._

_Mundungus. Another Step._

_Bill. Step._

_Fred. Stumble._

_Tonks. Knees._

_Bellatrix. Grasping for balance._

_Harry ran right in to a series of spells, through the pain acknowledging each._

_Crucio. For Ron._

_Sectumsempra. For Hermione._

_Each coming with their own complications, but never stopping him from his ultimate goal. Hagrid goes down, as the echo of Harry's screams echoes in his mind. Pushing shadows away, he kept going._

_“Mr. Potter,” A voice slithered. Harry turned, snake eyes and all focused on him, and him alone, “I see you have made it.”_

_“Can we get past the evil speech and just get on with it?” Harry snarled, as he dodged the first spell of the night._

_They battled. To others it was a glorious battle, a battle of the ages. The people alive to witness it swore that there had never been a battle, and will never be a battle like that ever again. That Harry's magic and Voldemort’s magic danced in the night, flitting, battling for dominance._

_Harry wouldn't notice anyone around, or that the battle around them had come to a halt to watch the event. He wouldn't notice until the spell went past him in to the crowd, hitting a batch of red hair._

_“GINNY!” The scream echoed through the field, louder than the cackle of the man behind him. Harry fell to his knees, back to the man he had just been battling. Who cared if he lost? There was nothing left. Just a bunch of ungrateful people who had made his life a living hell._

_The spell came flying at his back, he could hear it with his head down, eyes closed. He could feel it getting closer. He gave in, letting it hit him. Darkness welcomed him, embraced him, swallowed him hole._

_He had nothing left to lose._

 

“I woke up to a hospital staff working on several people. Trying to revive those that they could, but the ones that mattered. The ones that I cared for, they were dead. I couldn't handle it, and I left. I wanted, no needed to get out of that place. It was hell for me, and for those around me. So I hopped a plane here and here I am now,” Harry stated, as Nathaniel stared at him. They were silent a minute before he gently got up and hugged him.

Harry stiffened in to the hug, attempting to ignore the man shifting in to his lap and holding him in a comforting embrace. After several seconds, Harry relaxed in to the embrace, resting his head in to the shoulder that was nearest.

That was how Micah found them, two men attempting to heal their wounds. Micah smiled softly, his leopard giving a reassuring growl before leaving the room. They needed their space.

 

~HPNG~

 

Anita walked up to the door, weary, and tired. It had been a long day, and looked like it was finally going to be a semi-peaceful night. She pulled out her keys, unlocking the door, and walked in. It was silent, no one in the living room, and she had a feeling that Micah was upstairs where he had a habit of lingering. Sitting the keys down on the coffee table, she walked in to the kitchen, blinking at the sight.

 

~HPNG~

 

Nathaniel never noticed Anita getting home. He had put himself in the arms of Harry and had forgotten everything else. Harry drew strength from him and he drew comfort from Harry. It was like it had been when he was a kid. Harry was a rock, a cracked one, but time and nature will always fix what's broken. So he never noticed the door open, or the keys hitting the table. He never noticed the woman he loved until she was standing there, mouth agape.

“What is he doing here?” She snapped, anger flooding the bond they had. Nathaniel cocked his head.

“He's staying the night,” Nathaniel stated calmly, as the anger built.

“No, he is not! He's dangerous Nathaniel!” Anita yelled, as she pointed to the man sitting in the chair in front of her, “You may think you know him, and you may think you can trust what's coming out of his mouth, but you can't. You don't know him!”

“I do know him! You have to learn to trust me Anita! I'm not a kid anymore!” Nathaniel stated simply.

“How can I trust you when you do things like this? He's a stranger, he's powerful, and he's different! We don't even know what he's capable of! This isn't another lycanthrope Nathaniel, this is a dangerous man!”

“Do you think I don't know that? I know he's dangerous! That doesn't mean I can't trust him! I trust you don't I? I trust Micah! You both are dangerous, have killed, and most likely will again!” Nathaniel yelled, as Harry laid a hand on his arm.

“It's not the same!”

“How is it not the same? You have more men than the military anymore! You leave me with Jean-Claude who is a vampire, and could drain me dry one day. I trust him! You leave me with Asher, and god bloody knows what he might do! Jason, Richard, Damian, these are not soft people, Anita! I get one person that I enjoy to be around, and is a little rough around the edges, and you attack! Are you happy Anita? You told me to show you I knew how to defend myself, how to think for myself, and you don't like the choices I made,” Nathaniel growled the last part.

Anita stared at the two of them, before walking out, up the stairs and slamming the door to the bedroom. Nathaniel sighed softly.

“I can still go,” Harry grumbled, as Nathaniel shook his head.

“No, she knows I'm right. I just have to give her time.”

 

~HPNG~

 

Micah watched as Anita slammed the door behind her and withhold the scream that wanted to echo through the room. Waiting, watching as she stripped out of her guns, slamming them on to stuff, out of her shirt, and in to a more comfortable wear, he thought over what to say.

“You know he's not wrong,” Micah stated softly, as Anita turned to glare at him.

“What's that supposed to mean!”

“It means our Nathaniel is growing up. It means accepting that he has a brain, instincts and the ability to use them,” Micah said softly, lightening the blow.

“Yes, but evidently, he's not using them!” Anita growled as she flopped on to the bed. Micah crawled over to her, wrapping himself around her.

“Yes he is. You just don't like Harry. You think he's taking our Nathaniel away. He's not. I can feel it. I can feel it deep in my chest where the both of you reside. Once you get over you're fears, he'll be another addition to our fucked up family,” Micah stated, as Anita curled in to him.

“Doesn't mean I have to like it,” Anita grumbled.

“You don't like much, but it's okay, you enjoy it secretly,” Micah stated, as Anita glared at him. “Come on, it's time for reassure Anita moment.” Anita nodded, cuddling up to one of her men, while the other was downstairs reassuring the man he had defended.


	5. When The Games Begin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I feel like I should apologize for how long this took to get to you guys. It's a REALLY short chapter. I'm a college student, working, trying to send my sister to Washington D.C. , and write a book that I want to publish (Edit is more like it, but still). I'm everywhere. I have not forgotten this book! Harry won't let me! He haunt my thoughts at work, in class, and every place!  
> This is a filler chapter. It's to give a little perspective in to what will come in the next couple chapters. Timeline is going to skip a little in the next chapter, so warning now!

**hapter 5- When The Games Begin**

 

 _It's caving in around me_  
What I thought was solid ground  
I tried to look the other way  
But I couldn't turn around  
It's OK for you to hate me  
For all the things I've done  
I've made a few mistakes  
But I'm not the only one

 

~ _Five Finger Death Punch~_

 

It was after midnight. Nathaniel was curled up next to Anita's sleeping form, listening to the quiet sounds of the house. Harry's revelation left a bitter taste in his mouth as he took the boy to his bedroom for the night, tucked him in to his own nightmares, and curled in to the comfort that Nathaniel had known for years now. Looking at the soft face that was Anita, he sighed.

Comfort. He had comfort. Something that many people could say they didn't have. They didn't have the comfort to accept their past for what it was, and who it made them. They didn't have people who loved them for who they were and who they were becoming, not who they were in the past.

Nathaniel looked lovingly down at the woman next to him. She did. She looked past everything and saw him for who he wanted her to see, not the broken boy that still lingered in the background at night. She had a rough exterior and she could be a bit much for many, but she was everything to him. Glancing up at the door, he frowned.

“Why don't you go check on him?” He heard Micah grumble from beside Anita. Glancing down at the man, Nathaniel blinked.

“It's evident that you're not going to be able to sleep until you're sure that he's safe. Go check on him if it'll make you feel better.”

Nathaniel got up, his head nodding slowly as his body did what his mind was unable to process. Walking from the room, just down the hall, towards the door that he knew he had left the boy, he glanced in to see the still body.

He stared at the boy, as everything in him called for him to renew that bond. He let it slide.

He was just here to heal old wounds. Nothing more.

 

~HPNG~

 

Harry laid as still as possible as Nathaniel watched him. He didn't want to rouse suspicion that he was still up, but he rarely ever slept anymore. Not if there were people nearby. Not without his wand to silence the screams at night. It wasn't fair to put his roomers through the torture that seemed to wake him every night, every moment of every day.

Harry laid in silence, listening to the sound of the boy breathing behind him, a soothing, comfort that lulled him to sleep.

~HPNG~

 

Micah sat in bed, staring at the woman in his arms. It was going to be interesting to see what would happen in the next couple of months. He shook his head, listening to the sound of Nathaniel sitting on the floor next to Harry's room. Sighing, he laid back, worry flowing through his stream. Not for the untold problems that Harry brought, but the problems that Anita would have accepting him....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, really short, but I might have the next chapter finished tomorrow, so be ready!


	6. And The Past Comes Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm making note of this. I've been really busy. My dad had a stroke, so hospital stuff. I'm working on it slowly. I had writer's block there for a second. Also, this book will book will be shorter than the next one. I need the plot to quicken a lot so that I can get to the book that is bugging me. Though, that won't take away what this book has to offer. Just makes it a little more special. Thank you for all the notes! I was so happy to see them!

**Chapter Six- And The Past Comes Back**

 

 _I know what's best for me_  
But I want you instead  
I'll keep on wasting all my time  
Over and over, over and over  
I fall for you  
Over and over, over and over  
I try not to  
Over and over, over and over  
You make me fall for you  
Over and over, over and over  
You don't even try to 

 

_~Three Days Grace~_

 

**Three Months Later**

 

Nathaniel watched as Harry took the stage. Body languidly rolling to the music, hips gyrating, and magic giving him an ethereal light that many did not notice immediately came to focus on Nathaniels mind. In Nathaniel's mind, Harry didn't need it. He had the glow, body build, and lazy relaxed look that he had finally gained back.

He looked so at home on the stage, something that Nathaniel caught glimpses of it when he was home, just the two of them, allowing themselves to fall in to the same flirtatious habit, edged with the dark thread of forbidden lust. It was the same thing, the past so welcome in the moment that neither questions the health of the situation. Nathaniel could feel his leopard purr at the thought of Harry being in the bed with them tonight.

Anita and Nathaniel were on barely speaking terms, something that broke the hearts of both involved, but was needed. Anita didn't understand the relationship between Harry and Nathaniel. Nathaniel didn't understand how Anita could take something wonderful from him. It was just one thing after the other with that. Not that Harry hadn't tried to leave, or Micah talked to her, or even Jean-Claude attempting to ease her worries, but nothing was helping.

Harry came off stage, sweat covered, and grinning. It had taken months to get him to smile again, but once Nathaniel did, it was amazing. His gaze dropped from the smile to the sweat that gently clung to the chest that stood bare in front of him, to the ones that ran rivers down his body to the soaked underwear that Nathaniel had been wanting to get in to for so long...

“Your up, kitty,” Harry said with a gentle laugh, as Nathaniel's gaze lifted from the sweat to the sparkle in Harry's eyes that told him that Harry was up to something.

“I'm not a kitty!” Nathaniel growled as Harry patted his head, and took a bottle of water from the passing stripper on his right.

“Really?” Harry curled his hand to a massage on Nathaniel's head, as the purr burst from his unprepared lips. Harry fell out laughing, the sound causing a pout on the lips of the purring man.

“That's not fair!” Nathaniel growled, as Harry pulled him to a hug.

“All's fair in love and war!” Harry giggled, as he let go, “You're up!” Pushing Nathaniel on stage, Harry watched as Nathaniel slid from the playful boy to the sensual man.

Nathaniel smiled at the crowd, and began his dance.

The dazzle, the sparkle, the money, it was amazing. The feel of letting his body go, and do what it wished as he humored the screaming women. Little specks of black caught out the corner of his eye as he finished the dance, giving the women one lovely blow of a kiss. He turned.

Harry stood in front of Anita, a blank look on his face as she put the silver cuffs on him. He was tense, even as he spoke to Anita's partner in what seemed to be cool tones. Jean-Claude stood beside Anita, mouth moving a mile a minute, hands waving as his eyes narrowed. Jason stood beside him, tense, watching every movement towards Harry with a precision that told Nathaniel that he was preparing to pounce.

Nathaniel tore his eyes away, blowing a kiss at the woman in front of him, twirling away from her, frown on his face. He had another couple minutes. Just a few more minutes to get through and he could find out what was happening. Those couple of minutes were agonizing, as he acted as if nothing was wrong. That there was someone taking Harry away from him at this exact moment, another tearing away as he could do nothing but watch.

Nathaniel turned to go off stage, and came to the sight of a sad smiling Jason. His heart pounded throughout his chest. No. No. No...

“Nathaniel, Harry has been arrested. He's being taken to the station. Get your clothes on. We're going to the station to try to meet them, and see what we can do about getting him out,” Jason stated calmly, as a riot went through Nathaniel. He blinked at Jason, as Jason put his hand on Nathaniel's shoulder. “He's fine. He went willingly. Everything will be okay. Jean-Claude is waiting on us, so we need to hurry.”

Nathaniel didn't respond. He just walked past Jason to his room and got dressed. He was going to fix this.

 

~HPNG~

 

Harry sat in the white room, hands cuffed in front of him. They had taken him from work, dragged him in to the station, taken his fingerprints, then dropped him in the room. He tried to convince them that he would leave willingly. He tried to ask them if they would let him say something to Nathaniel, but was denied. Just dragged in to the room with a frown from Anita and a smirk from her partner.

The sound of the door sliding open to reveal the woman in question cause Harry to sit up a little. She sat in the chair across from him, and tilted her head to the side, as if he was going to spill his guts to her just because she sat there.

“Harry, do you know what you're being accused of?” She asked with a brisk professionalism with an underlying sound of anger.

“No, I just know that I was arrested,” Harry snapped back, the anger of being left alone for so long lingering underneath his skin. He needed to get control of it. He couldn't have his magic putting him more in the hole than he already was.

“Harry Potter, you are under suspicion of multiple murders using Magic, and the kidnapping of the mayor's daughter. I have a warrant for your execution, but I need to know where the girl is. So why don't we do this the easy way? You tell me where the girl is, I get her safe and sound, and then I make your death as painless as possible.” Harry cocked his head to the side.

“I didn't murder or kidnap anyone.” He stated.

“Harry, just give it up, and tell us where she is,” Anita snapped, as Harry shook his head.

“I. Don't. Know.” The smack was expected on a deeper level than Harry could have predicted, but it still stung.

“Well, since you don't know, I think we can get on with your execution,” Anita said coldly, pulling her gun out. Harry closed his eyes, waiting for the blackness to envelope him when the sound of the door slamming open caught their attention.

“We have a new message!” Another cop stated, breath panting, “It can't be him!”

Anita lowered the gun, eyes stuck to Harry wearily. “What does it say?”

“ ' _Neither can live while the other survives. Keep the Blood of My enemy Safe for me.'”_ Harry tensed at the end of the note, looking up at Anita's blank face.

“What could that mean? What the hell could they be talking about? 'Blood of my enemy'? Keep him safe? Does that mean we have someone they want? Will they bargain?” Anita mumbled to herself as Harry went pale.

“Was there an image with it? Something like a skull with a snake?” Harry snapped out quickly, watching as both eyes wandered to him. The new officer in the room nodded, as Harry looked at Anita.

“You have no idea what you're dealing with. Even if you get her back, she won't be the same.”

“What do you know about it?” Anita snapped, “Are you involved and finally willing to give up the goods?”

Harry felt something snap. The overwhelming fear and past coming back to get him, he just broke under the pressure. He couldn't hold it in anymore and didn't want to hold it in anymore.

“No, you stupid bint!” Harry screamed, “They're the reason I'm here! They killed my family! They killed my friends! They tried to kill me!” Harry stared at her with narrow eyes.

“I've been fighting these assholes my whole fucking life! The enemy that they're talking about? That's me! Because of a prophecy that led them to wanting to kill me! I thought I killed that dirty bastard, that his followers would LEAVE ME ALONE, and I had nothing. Is that what you want to hear? You wanted to know my fucking life story and everything in it! It's because of them that I have nothing!” Harry panted as Anita's eyes went wide, before narrowing in consideration.

“Would you be able to find them?” Harry frowned at her, before nodding. “Then if what you say is true, then we can use you get them out and save the girl.” Harry nodded at her, falling back against the metal chair with a sigh.

“Get me out of these fucking handcuffs!”

 

~HPNG~

 

Nathaniel stood in front of Anita and Harry with a frown on his face. They had finally revealed what they were planning, and to put it simply, he wasn't buying it. It was a guess that they would get it done right, that there wouldn't be an accident, that everything would go right. The anger at Anita's inability to tell what is right and wrong burned through his system. Nathaniel stared hard at the woman he loved, cold, unmoving as she explained the plans to him again.

“No.” Nathaniel said simply, as Harry looked at him in surprise.

“What do you mean no?” Anita snapped.

“You're not using him as a tool!” Nathaniel snapped as Anita blinked at the forcefulness in his tone.

“Harry offered-”

“After you arrested him, interrogated him, and probably made it his only choice!” Nathaniel yelled. Harry put his hand on Nathaniel's shoulder only for it to be snatched back, “NO! Don't console me! You put yourself at risk again and then expect it to be alright! That's not alright! You're letting her put you at risk! The one person I trusted is using one of the men I love! That is not alright!”

Harry stared at Nathaniel blankly.

“You do not love me.” Harry stated coldly.

“Yes, I do! I loved you back then, and I love you now!” Nathaniel snarled.

“You do not love me!” Harry snapped back, as Nathaniel got in his face.

“I love you. My leopard loves you. I LOVE YOU!” Harry smacked Nathaniel, as Anita pulled her gun out and aimed.

“You do not love me. You can not love me. You're not allowed to love me. I am a distraction. A wish, if you please. I am not the boy I was. I will protect you with everything I am, but you can not let yourself think that this can be a happy ending. Take your little fucked up family, and be happy. Do not make me tell you again.” Harry walked out of the room, as Nathaniel's eyes followed, tears flowing.

“I told you not to trust him. He was unstable.” Anita said quietly.

“Shut up, Anita.” Nathaniel stated, falling on to one of the chairs in the kitchen. Listening to the sounds of Harry bang around as he packed the things he needed for this mission.

“No, Nathaniel! He's not who you say he is! He's dangerous! He's going to get you killed! What do you not understand about that? HE WILL GET YOU KILLED!” Nathaniel snapped his head to her.

“The way you do? Please, tell me Anita, how he is so much more dangerous!” Anita glared at him with an evil glare.

“At least I've never put my hands on you!” Nathaniel cocked his head to the side.

“You've never sexed yourself out for me either. So please shut the fuck up.” Nathaniel walked out the room and towards the main bedroom. It was going to be a long night for them all.

 

~HPNG~

 

Harry sat on the bed with head in his hands. It had been hours since the conversation with Nathaniel. He could hear the pack downstairs eating downstairs, as Harry ignored them, attempting to get his raging emotions together.

A soft knock came to the door, drawing his head from his hands in enough time to see Micah enter with a plate of food. Harry just stared at him as he sat the food on the dresser before sitting next to him.

“I feel like I should kill you for putting your hands on him,” Micah stated slowly, drawing out the words as Harry nodded. He felt like he should die. Nathaniel was one of the few people he had left, and he had hurt him. Yet, it was better to be hurt by his hands than it was to be hurt by his death.

“He loves you.” Micah stated softly as Harry flinched. “And you love him too. It's easy to see when you look for the patterns. Nathaniel stands up to those who need help, but not like this. He's stronger when you're here. He's proud. He's a person to stand by, not someone who stands behind.”

Harry tried to block him out, but wasn't able to.

“So I'm not going to hurt you, because I know you love him. You love him enough to push him away so that if something happens to you, he won't be hurt. So that if these people slip past him, he won't be a target. You're stronger than most men, Harry. You're forcing him to let go. That does not mean that you are right. You need him as much as he needs you. It's time that you understood that.”

Harry shook his head, as Micah rubbed his back.

“Eat some food. Anita said you guys would be out all night, and you need your strength. You have to come back home to him.”

Harry nodded, but felt different. Tonight was going to make or break him.


	7. Lost and Found pt 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Yeah... This Chapter, then hopefully, if I'm awake tomorrow. I'll have another Chapter tomorrow. Don't hate me?

**Chapter Seven- Lost and Found Pt 1**

 

__You've got all that I need  
Looking at all or nothing  
Babe it's you and I  
With you I know that  
I am good for something  
So lets go give it a try  
We got our backs against the ocean  
It's just us against the world  
Looking at all or nothing  
Babe it's you and I

_~Theory Of A Deadman~_

 

 

Harry stood with Anita, his eyes drawn to the wall in front of him, unfocused, his hand lightly rubbing the wand that he was bound to carry in this situation. He walked away from Nathaniel the night before, just walked out the room before another argument could occur. Nathaniel didn't understand that Harry had to find this person, and Harry couldn't understand how Nathaniel couldn't understand. 

“Are you ready?” Anita asked softly, as Harry's worn eyes floated from the wall he was staring at to the woman who brought him in to this mess. 

“Yeah, lets go.” Harry stated, as he climbed in to her vehicle from another false alarm. Another night of searching... and no finding.

 

_~HPNG~_

 

Nathaniel stared at the door, Micah's hand running lightly up and down his arms in an attempt to soothe him.

“Why aren't they home yet?” He asked softly, glancing at the clock that flashed 6:00 AM at him. Micah's silence told more than any response that he could come up with. Nathaniel sighed softly, as he glanced at the gold eyes sadly.

“It'll work out, Nathaniel. It will.” Nathaniel shook his head. No, it never worked in his favor.

Standing from the comfortable position that they had made themselves on the sofa, Nathaniel wandered up the stairs in to Harry's room.

The soft smell of Harry lingered in his nose as he dove in to the bed and inhaled the scent. It had been so long since they had been together, and they wouldn't do anything with Nathaniel being Anita's. The past, the only good portions that he had of the times with Harry lingered on the back of his mind. He let them overwhelm him.

He was so overwhelmed, he never heard the whispered spell that froze him. He never got the chance to defend himself as he popped softly out the room and in to the middle of the police station, where everyone froze.

Before a response could be called, the police all fell, some dead, some frozen, some unconscious, except one. He left one able bodied person.

“Call Harry Potter. Let him know we're here.” The terrified officer picked up the phone and dialed.

The crazy haired man smiled at Nathaniel, caressing his face lightly, before gripping his chin.

“Such a beauty, I hate that I'm going to have to kill you,” Nathaniel stared him down. He wouldn't go down without a fight. The man lifted his wand, when the crack echoed through the room. Looking up, Nathaniel saw Harry. His terror increased.

~HPNG~

 

“Oh God, they're all dead! He wants Harry! He wants Harry Potter!” Anita heard through her speaker. She glanced at the man standing in front of her. The air sizzled with magic, as Anita went to scream, “NO!”. He disappeared.

Harry stood in the room with the captor, and Nathaniel. The first spells fired off disarmed the man, or so he thought, when the gun came out. Pointed at Nathaniel. Finger on the trigger. And Squeezing.

“NO!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hear the flames coming. *ducks* I love you all!


	8. Lost and Found Pt 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo yeah... Got it done! Now working on the last chapter of the book, and then I can get started on the next one! :D The long (not really) awaited chapter!  
> Oh, and each chapter has a song in the beginning. If you listen to the song as you read, it matches the mood of the chapter. Each song was my inspiration for the chapter.

**Chapter Eight- Lost And Found pt 2**

 

 _Lets take a chance go far away today_  
And never look back again  
Since I said I loved you in Las Vegas  
It's never been the same since then  
  
You've got all that I need  
Looking at all or nothing  
Babe it's you and I 

 

_~Theory Of A Deadman~_

 

Previously

 

“Oh God, they're all dead! He wants Harry! He wants Harry Potter!” Anita heard through her speaker. She glanced at the man standing in front of her. The air sizzled with magic, as Anita went to scream, “NO!”. He disappeared.

Harry stood in the room with the captor, and Nathaniel. The first spells fired off disarmed the man, or so he thought, when the gun came out. Pointed at Nathaniel. Finger on the trigger. And Squeezing.

“NO!”

 

Now.... On to the Chapter...

 

“Isn't it ickle litle Harry Potter? Coming to the rescue again?” The voice mocked him, facing Nathaniel. Harry stared at the long hair, the rips and tears in the shirt from the battle revealed scars that riddled what looked like most of his body. The voice was familiar, but long forgotten in the tension that flooded Harry as Nathaniel's fearful stare watched him.

“What do you want? I'm here!” Harry shouted, as the man turned to him. A gasp fell from his lips, his wand shaking in the recognition that shuddered through him. Dirty, grease covered, broken, bent, and riddled with old scars, Greyback stared at him with a glare. The gun stood steady in his hand, towards Nathaniel as he smirked at Harry.

“I want you in agony,” He stated, as he gently went to squeeze the trigger. Harry jumped, nearly running to Nathaniel as Greyback laughed. “Don't think I won't, little boy. A war you may have fought, but true agony would come from this. I've been watching you.” A glance at Harry's raised wand caused his eyes to narrow. “Put it down.”

Harry looked at the gun, then at Nathaniel's pleading eyes. Slowly lowering down, he sat the wand on the floor, watching as the slowly lowered a little. The hope and desperation in Nathaniel's eyes cause Harry to panic, as Harry watched Greyback picked up his own discarded wand. Harry went for his own wand once, watching as the gun that had seemed to be forgotten was aimed again.

“Back up, boy! Unless you think you can think of a spell faster than a bullet to his brain.” Harry nodded, hands up, “Stupefy!” Harry felt himself tense, and fall to the floor.

~HPNG~

Nathaniel watched in terror as Harry fell to the floor facing him, just as still and unmovable as Nathaniel himself. The man turned to face him, demonic grin on his scar ridden face. Words unheard of were whispered, and Nathaniel's body loosened from the tense position it had been forced to hold the time that he was there.

He went to crawl over to Harry. He needed to check on Harry. Please god, don't let him have lost Harry. He slowly moved, when the first wave of unbearable agony washed across his body. This was more than he had ever felt, ever endured. He focused, though, crawling to the man that had stolen his heart, allowing the agony to flow through his brain.

“Aw, look at the sappy couple, one desperately crawling to the other to get one last look each others eyes before I kill them both. So fucking romantic,” The agony dissipated, as Nathaniel took the chance to get close enough to Harry to touch his arm before the agony began once again. And Stopped. And Started. And then he screamed, because there was nothing else he could do, but to scream at the agony that fluttered through his body.

~HPNG~

 

Anita's car pulled up in front the abnormally silent police station, an army of cars with lights and sirens surrounding the building. A hand on her arm told her that Zerbrowski was behind her, giving her some support in a situation that was quickly going to hell in a handbasket.

“Alright, so whats the plan?”

“Get them out.” As a scream echoed from in the building to the parking lot, a piece of Anita's heart hurt, lurched, cried. “Now.”

~HPNG~

 

It seemed like forever before the pain went away. It seemed like months since he had last felt something so precious as relaxation. A moment when his body wasn't covered in pain and zapping the little bit of energy he held on to. Nathaniel looked over to Harry, tears streaming down his weary cheek.

With the little bit of energy he held on to, he lifted his hand and rested it on Harry's cheek, allowing a smile to grace his lips as Harry's own tears slid across his hand. Then the pain started again.

 

~HPNG~

 

They stormed the building, guns up, ready for anything. Through the “lobby”, past the normal guards station, up the stairs to the destruction that it seemed that one man could cause. Leaning across the corner, Anita could see Harry's feet, so still, so unmoving that the need to run and check that she hadn't killed her lover's friend nearly overwhelmed her. She stood back, and watched as the perp walked in to her line of view, standing over Harry. An exchange occurred, as the sound of a slap could be heard.

She could hear in her ear piece that it was time to move, she felt her body move, but her eyes could not comprehend the sight in front of her. They laid on the floor, Nathaniels hand resting on Harry's face as he held on to another scream that she knew was waiting at the tip of his lips.

“Freeze!” Someone shouted, as he turned, Nathaniel flopping back down as the stick she assumed was a wand faced them. That's when the glint in his left hand caught her attention.

“He's got a gun!” As shots were fired around her, she hit the floor, eyes focused on the boys. Nathaniel had grabbed Harry, pulling him back, his body still unmoving. Before she could blink, things changed.

~HPNG~

 

Nathaniel was grabbed by the collar, pulled to the mans body. The man rested the gun on his temple, steady, calm in the face of what was happening. His wand pointed towards Harry, and in a moment of tension with Nathaniel, Harry slumped out of his position.

“Tell them what I want Harry, my boy. Tell them to leave!” He growled, as Harry watched them with calm eyes.

“Anita, don't do anything,” Harry stated calmly. “He'll give you Nathaniel, just don't do anything!”

Nathaniel flicked his eyes to Anita, who nodded slowly, never lowering her gun, but her itchy trigger finger relaxing.

“Tell us what you want!” Anita shouted, as he smiled.

“I want Harry Potter,” He stated.

“I'm at a loss then, because you have him. Give me the boy, and you can keep Harry,” She stated calmly, as Nathaniel's eyes widened.

“Now, see, we have a problem then miss, since I seem to want to keep this kitten all to myself too,” He lightly scraped a finger down Nathaniel's cheek, ignoring the flinch that came with the action.

“Give me the boy, or we're going to have some problems,” Anita stated, her eyes flashing from Greyback to Harry behind them.

“We're going to have problems then, since I'm not giving him up.”

~HPNG~

 

Harry watched as Anita's eyes flicked behind him. He turned lightly to see the man coming up behind us, sniper rifle in hand. Glancing back at Anita, her eyes wander quickly to Nathaniel, and recognition flew through Harry's mind. There was a plan.

~HPNG~

 

Nathaniel watched as Anita talked with the man. Her focus distracted, but calm as she worked him over with the only thing she had, her mouth.

Then it happened. Harry rushed in to his side, two shots went off, and they hit the floor. The weight of Harry made him hit the floor, hard, but unmoving as the weight collapsed on him. Glancing to what was behind him, he saw Greyback, laying on the floor, bullet hole lodged in his head.

Then there was a flurry of movement, as Harry was pushed off Nathaniel, and Anita grasped him in a tight hug. Hugging her back, he let the moment wash over him, the noise that once surrounded him, in a whitewash of silence. When she let go, the noise came back, the situation hit with a stunning pounding, and the worry for Harry came over him with an intense force. He turned, sure that he would see his savior standing with the rest.

He laid on the floor, two officers yelling in to their walkies, calling for an ambulance. One of his hands rested on Harry's chest as blood quickly covered the floor underneath him. His mouth was open, but the sound of squelching from his mouth told Nathaniel that a lung had collapsed. Falling to his knees, Harry looked at him, his mouth smiling in an O shape that cause Nathaniel to gasp in fear.

“Hey”, Harry gasped out, another squelch as Nathaniel placed his hand on the chest wound, only to meet Harry's hand blocking his. A sob fell from his lips, as he pushed the hand away, and put pressure on the quickly bleeding wound. “No... Stop...”

“I'm not! You'll be fine! We'll get you to the hospital, and they'll fix it!” Nathaniel stated, a hysterical note to his voice made it seem so much louder than it should have been.

“Dying... Let... Go... Safe...” Harry gasped out, as he reached a hand out to take Nathaniel's non-blood covered hand where it was resting by Harry's head.

“No, you can't die! I just found you! I'm not letting you go!” Harry smiled, then gasped, as his face lost a lot more color, and his hand lost a little of it's grasp.

“Safe... Stay... Safe...” Nathaniel nodded.

“I'll be safe with you. I'm always safe with you.”

“Don't... Forget... Me...” Harry gasped out again, his voice getting softer, the sound of his other lung getting fluid catching Nathaniel's sensitive ear.

“I won't, because the ambulance is on it's way, and you're not leaving me!”

“Love.... You... Always... Love... You...”

Nathaniel felt his body choke on another sob he put more pressure on the wound, but more blood came out every time Harry spoke. “Stop talking, please! Just make it until they get here!”

Harry chuckled, bringing his hand up to Nathaniel's face, with a serious look in his eye.

“Anita... Take... Care... Of...You... Now...”

Nathaniel shook his head.

“Make... Sure... Jason... Finds... Someone...”

Nathaniel felt the tears fall down his cheek.

“Never... Forget... I... Love... You..” Harry's eyes rolled in to the back of his head, as Nathaniel went from calm to frantic.

“No! NO!” Pounding on his chest, before puffing air in to his lungs, only to see a stream of blood squirt out. “No! Don't leave me! I love you too! Don't leave me! Please!”

The sound of Harry's heartbeat flittered away in the wind, as Nathaniel pushed harder.

“No, please! I'm sorry! I'm sorry I let you go the first time! I'm sorry I didn't save you in time! Please don't leave me!” Nathaniel kept going with the CPR, as the medics flooded in the room in front of Anita, who stared at the scene.

“I'm sorry... I'm Sorry... I love you. Give me a chance to say I love you! Please don't! I LOVE YOU!” Nathaniel screamed, as Anita pulled him back, and medics surrounded Harry.

It was her strength that held him back when they began to try to restart his heart. He felt his heart die a little more as he lurched with every zap, yet nothing on their screen showed life. Over and Over, for what seemed like forever, before the words he dreaded came floating to his ears.

“Death... Time 23:30....” Nathaniel fell to his knees, as Anita attempted to soothe him. Yet the only thing whimpering from his lips, fell from his lips were, “I love you. I'm sorry.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't kill me? Please remember that there is another chapter, and another book and I'm not George RR Martin! (if you get that comment please remember this!)


	9. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's finished. I feel like I'm going to cause a ruckus. Have fun!

**Epilogue—Letting Go**

 

 _I didn't have to lie to myself for so long_  
I didn't have to let myself get so far gone  
I didn't have to make the ones I love feel so alone  
I didn't have to die to go to heaven - I just had to go home 

 

_~Heaven By 3 Doors Down~_

 

 _Go on living_  
Don’t stop loving  
Please find something you can put your heart into  
And if the sun comes up, without me tomorrow  
You’ll be fine  
Just let it shine  
On you 

 

_~If The Sun Comes Up By Trace Adkins~_

 

Anita stood in the doorway of her room, staring at the still figure on the bed. He looked beautiful in the suit that they had purchased the day before, a heartbreaking beauty as his lost lilac eyes focused out the window that had been opened. His hands clenched around the glasses that he managed to get from the pile of stuff that they had taken for evidence, and the pain that racked his body every night, the fear of waking up to the knowledge that his best friend, his beloved, was gone, only to deal with the truth that he was really gone. 

“Nathaniel, we're going to be late”, She stated in a calm voice, as he turned to her. His blank face broke her heart, but it was far too late to fix. She couldn't fix this for him.

“Alright,” He stated, standing, letting his long fall freely. There was no explanation as to why he didn't tie it up today, on a day where it could get messed up, tangled, and be a mess, just the knowledge that there was no point in arguing with him.

 

~NG~

 

The funeral was beautiful. A full police service for the man who had risked his life to save them all, even though that wasn't his full attention. It was closed coffin, even though Nathaniel wanted to desperately to see him one last time. Let him think he was sleeping instead of the bloody mess that he saw every night in his dreams. 

The time came for him to speak, and he felt Anita's hand on his shoulder as he began to get up slowly. Something had broken in him. What could he say to this group of people who had never known this man? The man who had died so spectacularly for him? Who had left him alone? The tears welled up in his eyes, slipped away, and fell down his cheek. 

“I met Harry when I was still with my dad. It wasn't the greatest time, but he made everything ok. He made my miserable life worth living. He, too, had been abandoned by his family, but that never broke his spirit, never broke his innate goodness. It hurt him to see others suffering, and he fought with everything that he was to make sure that no one he knew suffered. That was Harry.

There is nothing I can say up here, after his death, after his sacrifice, because I think that speaks to his character. He was a great man. He was a person I was proud to call a friend. A person I once called a lover.” Tears came harder, but his voice stayed strong.

“I can see him blushing and shaking his head at the amount of people here today, sending him off, thanking him for the good he did, and he wouldn't understand. He wouldn't understand because he'd be wondering why people aren't always this way. He did what he had to do. He did the right thing, because it was the right thing to do, not for the gratitude that it would gain him.

“He'd tell us to stop thanking him, and do something nice for someone else. If you don't do it for the goodness of the factor, do it because he asked. Take a moment in your busy schedule, in your busy day today, check in on your neighbors, smile at someone with a frown, stop and check on the kid that seems depressed. Because if he hadn't stopped to talk to me, this would never have happened. He wouldn't have this amount of gratitude towards him, towards what he did. I wouldn't have loved him. Please don't forget him, not for the hero he is, not for the fact that he stripped, not for the fact that he took the bullet for me, or jumped in to the middle of the battle, but for the fact that he was good. He smiled and laughed. He was shy. 

Remember him for the fact that he liked to dance to bad 90's music in the kitchen. Remember him for the fact that he snored so loudly the cats next door cried out. Remember him as the guy who loved his friends so thoroughly that there isn't many who couldn't love him back. Remember him as the man that would flirt, then apologize for leading you because he didn't have that kind of heart. 

Because I will. That's how I will remember him. I will never forget the man he was. I can never forget the man he was.” His voice broke on the last word, the tears running rivers down his face. He walked over to the casket, and laid his hand on it. He felt Anita wrap herself around him, but that just made him sob harder, made him want to cry for Harry to come home.

Anita lightly pulled him away from the casket, the whimper he couldn't contain falling from his lips, like a wounded animal. Anita pulled him down in to his seat, her arm around his waist, Micah's firm body resting against his side. But it wasn't helping. They weren't who he wanted. 

He cried even harder as the body went in to the ground.

It took them three hours to pull him away from the grave.

 

~NG~

 

Nathaniel curled up in his bed for the first time in hours. His work schedule had become more since Harry's death. His attempt to get over what was holding him hostage. Yet, nothing he seemed to do seemed to dim the pain. He was living a lie. 

He felt Anita lay next to him, as he let himself go to the tears once again. There was no light.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

~HP~

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 _Take me down to the river bend_  
Take me down to the fighting end  
Wash the poison from off my skin  
Show me how to be whole again  
  
Fly me up on a silver wing  
Past the black where the sirens sing  
Warm me up in a nova's glow  
And drop me down to the dream below 

_~Castle of Glass-- Linkin Park~_

 

Harry stood in the middle of the train station. He hadn't been here in so long that the King Cross station seemed more like a figment of his imagination.

“It is not a figment, Harry, my boy.” Harry turned, Dumbledores glittering eyes looking him over. Harry frowned.

“Why are we here?” Harry asked, his voice broken as he looked for the family that he had been waiting to rejoin.

“Because your duty is not done yet,” Dumbledore stated. And everything came back. The Horcuxes, Deathly Hallows, What Harry was...

“Then what was Nathaniel?” Harry stated, looking over at the empty train bench.

“Your Redemption. You must go back Harry. You must finish this correctly. You just died in another realm, a realm where the one you came from, and that one meet. He will still remember you. But you won't remember him. You must still find him. He is your future Harry. Your other half. Do not give it up.”

“I'm tired...”

“You have not found the happiness that was awarded to you--”

A bright mist began to surround him. Everything else that Dumbledore stated was muffled by the mist that was dragging him down. He closed his eyes.

 

And opened them.

 

_He was lying face down on the ground again. The smell of the forest filled his nostrils. He could feel the cold hard ground beneath his cheek, and the hinge of his glasses, which had been knocked sideways by the fall, cutting in to his temple. Every inch of him ached, and the place where the Killing Curse had hit him felt like the bruis of and iron-clad punch. (p. 724 Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows)_

 

 

_FINIS!_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooooo Next book will be soon. None of the songs are mine, and the last part of the chapter is JK Rowling's stuff, no where near mine.   
> Thank you all for working with me and this book. I'm happy that I was able to have people enjoy it.


End file.
